Brown's Close: A crowd-pleasing list of Thanksgiving dinner topics

  • (Courtesy/Sarah Brown)

No family gathering is complete without at least three political discussions so passionate they clear the room. To aid you at your forthcoming Thanksgiving feast, here is a proposed list of timely dinner topics sure to make your evening a night to remember:

  1. Masks.

  2. Vaccines.

  3. Inflation? Yay or nay?

  4. Does Joe Biden sniff women? Or do women sniff Joe Biden?

  5. Jeff Bezos, or Elon Musk?

  6. Bernie Sanders, or Elon Musk?

  7. What’s Mike Pence up to these days?

  8. Can cryptocurrency be most likened to the Holland tulip bulb mania of the 1630s?

  9. Was Aaron Rogers immunized?

  10. Airline seats – to recline, or not to recline?

  11. Megan Markle versus Piers Morgan.

  12. Janet Jackson versus Justin Timberlake.

  13. Brittany Spears versus Justin Timberlake.

  14. Brittany Spears versus Christina Aguilera.

  15. Brittany Spears versus all of the other Spears.

  16. Is Benedict Cumberbatch hot?

  17. Wired headphones? Or wireless headphones? What’s cool now?

  18. Did Epstein kill himself?

  19. The ecclesiastical calendar, subdivided by the difference between All Saints Day and All Souls Day.

  20. The pros and cons of Kamala Harris’ laugh.

  21. Hepatitis A.

  22. Is Jennifer Lawrence hot?

  23. Is Justin Bieber a good singer?

  24. Turkey and gravy soda – a genius invention, or a monstrosity inflicted upon man?

  25. The First Amendment.

  26. The Second Amendment.

  27. The Third Amendment.

  28. Nicolas Cage’s acting career – please submit responses in the form of a dissertation.

  29. Why is everything so expensive?

I, for one, look forward to discussing the elusive sex appeal of Pete Davidson, whether or not Joe Biden’s neurologic exam was honest and above board, and to finally resolve, once and for all, whether aliens are invading Hawaii.

 

Sarah Brown is, what her grandmother would call, an instigator. Tweet her @BrownsClose1 or email her at [email protected]. “Close” is a British term for alley or cul-de-sac. For more of Sarah’s musings, visit Browns-Close.com.

Updated: 
11/24/2021 - 5:56pm